Windy Walker
I'm so grateful to have had Wendy be part of my birth preperation and birthing experience. I come from a family with few positive or reassuring stories of birth, and hardly half of my aunts, uncles, and none of my friends had children of their own or uplifting stories to share. My partner's mother shared her birth stores with me, and though she birthed all four of her children naturally, all of her stories included pain medication and days in the hospital. I was joyfull about being pregnant and the coming experiences of raising as child but I was incredibly nervous and tense about birth.
I knew from the begining that I wanted to have a natural birth and to breastfeed my son. I didn't want medications that might influence my son in his first moments, and I didn't want to spend days laid up in the hospital in observation. I had a really hard time acknowleding my fears and feeling confidant in my ability as a woman to birth naturally and in a hospital setting. I had decided to have a waterbirth in a hospital early in my pregnancy. I craved a minimally clinical experience but was afraid to give birth at home because of all the complications in my own entry into the world and all the "what-ifs" that coursed through my head. I really just wanted to do what would most benefit my child during his entry to the world.
Wendy was such a wonderful person to have in our lives before the birth of our son. I always felt like a guest as a patient in my doctor's office, but even the first time Wendy came to our home I felt more confidant in claming the birth of my son as my own experience. She seemed honored to be a guest in our experience. The discussions we had, the information and resources she was able to share with us, and the art therapy she guided me and my partner (David) in were all absolutely priceless to us. I found Wendy's confidance to be contaigous. She doesn't hide or avoid the truth, and can talk about all aspects and potentials of birth without getting uncomfortable. Her comfortablility with talking about all parts of birth made me more comfortabe with talking about my own fear, and accepting of whatever the experience might bring. I think this relaxing in my conscious thoughts made my body more relaxed, and helped me carry the pregnancy to term.
It helped me relax so much to have Wendy with me during the delivery of my son. My partner and mother were with me as well but they couldn't offer me the same degree of reassurance. My partner, being a man with an old fashioned view of the delivery experience being a holy experience for women to share, was reassuring in his presence but didn't feel comfortable being there, let alone be a guide for carrying through contractions. My mother, with all the love she has in her heart, gives her love and encouragement through hugs and sympathic smiles much better then she can through words. Wendy's ability to stay present even when I was struggling to stay present while drifting in and out of estatic pain was the presence that I really needed then. She reminded me to keep breathing and keep making deep sounds at times when my lungs were balls of fire and ice. Even with all the knowledge I had gleaned, and as prepared as I felt for when the time came, I think it was quite likely that I would have caved into the temptation for medication during the delivery that in my normal state I didn't want anything to do with. She really understood what we wanted for our son and helped guide me through the experience.
After having birthed my son with no medications, no complications, and really with little to no experiences with nurses or even my doctor during the delivery that were memorable as being personal or helpful, I will not give birth to another child in a hospital unless the moment absolutely requires it. I found the presence of another woman who had been there as a mother and as a doula to be the most comforting and reassuring part of the whole experience. I have a whole new faith in myself and in women as a whole as intuitive, intelligent, powerful people. My partner and I really looking forward to when the time to invite a midwife and doula into our lives and our home for the welcoming of another child into our family.
I am happy and willing to talk with anybody who's considering inviting Wendy or any other doula into their birthing experience. I shared much more here then I thought I would have to say, but it would be hard for me to ever say enough how much of a gift Wendy's experiences and her presence were to our little family.
